It was a quiet day when a 16 year old, 6 foot 2 white male walked through the park. He walked down the street looking for a job when he saw the chocolate cake warehouse. As he walked in, they threw him out saying your kind isn't welcome here. Alex had nowhere to go besides his rock that he camped under for warmth in the winter. There was no good news for Alex.
the second sentence doesn't make sense
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting start that leaves the readers with questions. Who are "your kind"? Why does Alex have so little at only 16? What is the significance of him being identified so specifically as a "6 foot 2 white male," which calls to mind a criminal description over a police radio? This is exactly what you want from your reader: questions that lead him into wanting to reading more.
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